Mad's musings

Books, books, books!

2011-02-20T20:50:00.003-05:00

Amit asked me again today whether I wanted a kindle and I replied again with a firm 'NO'.

I love books. Their smell, their covers.... as a matter of fact there are people whose entire careers depend on designing those covers. Oh, how I love browsing through a "real" library and not a 'virtual' one. I could spend hours there. Just for the record, I am no nerd. Actually not even close. But I think libraries are real cool places.

Every city we move to the first thing I do is get a library card. Free books, I mean you can't beat 'FREE'! I know internet has lots of free stuff too, but it's not the same. It does not have the personal touch. Internet has a non-living search engine, compared to a hardworking, passionate librarian....

Lately libraries are closing down, librarians are losing jobs and counties are cutting down on their budgets for libraries. I hope by the time the next generation grows up, libraries are not extinct! That will be a shame. A real big one. One day I would like to take my children and/or grandchildren and teach them how to look for a book in a shelf!

I hope libraries will be forever and to show my support I shall issue a book from my local library right away and maybe donate some old ones!

Achievement.

2010-11-09T20:17:00.005-05:00

The alarm went off at 3.25a.m. It was November 7th 2010. It was time. I had had a fitful sleep all night, partly because of my nerves and partly the darned daylight savings time change. Also, iPhone got a bug where it would not update time on its own. Perfect timing! Anyways, I was up on time. I got dressed in many layers, it was going to be a cold day, with a high of 49 and winds at 15 miles/hr. I didn't eat anything. I had not been eating well since Thursday. Anxiety. Amit dropped me in front of New York Public Library and in no time I was headed to Staten Island, to fulfill my dream. Yes, I was about to run the NYC marathon. The race I had been dreaming about for years.

The villages for each corral in Staten island looked no less than Refugee camps. Inside were hundreds and thousands of runners, huddled together, sharing blankets along with race stories. I had some coffee and a bagel and sat in a tent thinking of all the mornings I had been up at the crack of dawn to run. All the hot summer days when I was pounding the asphalt when I should have been sitting indoors with the air on. The cold and snowy winter last year, when I was getting off the couch and on the streets, how I would juggle work, friends, family and train....all for this day. It had been a long and hard journey.

I made some friends in my tent and five hours passed. At 10.10 a.m. my corral started the race. It was quiet on the bridge. I looked at the water and the city skyline and soaked in the sight.

After the long Verrazano-Narrows bridge (2miles) we entered Brooklyn and were greeted by hoards of cheering crowds. There was a reason I loved this city. The first 10 miles were spent giving high fives to the little children in the crowds and just waving in general. I felt on top of the world.

Queens was just the same. There were cheerleaders and rock bands and more people. I was keeping great time. Doing less than a 10 minute mile. I truly felt like a rock star!

As we entered the Bronx, the body was feeling the brunt of all those miles. I had hit my 20 mile mark in 3.35. ( I did 3.53 in training) but now I was slowing down. As if they knew what was on my mind...

As soon as we touched Manhattan, the cheers grew louder... I have never seen so many people with so much positive energy. I was just inching my way forward at mile 23 when I saw Amit. He was trying to click my picture and I seriously could not muster a smile, but I was happy. I was so happy. Every part of my body hurt, but I was still going on, I was not going to stop. The memory of those last three miles in Central Park will be etched in my mind forever. The pavement, the fall leaves and the cheers in the background!

I sped up the last one mile for no other reason but to end the pain sooner. Then came mile marker 26...400 yards..300 yards...all the hard work that led me up to this point flashed across my mind. 200 yards....I was going to do this....100 yards...I did it.

My official time was 4.53:26.

The next few moments are a blur. The mind was numb with joy, the body with pain. But nothing mattered anymore. Nothing. I knew it right then.

I wanted to experience this feeling again.

On being an adult

2010-04-21T17:08:00.003-04:00

Back when I was in grad school and working full time, life was not easy. It was just one disaster after another. After one such incident, I was very upset, must be my all time low. Then one of my dear patients told me.." Hon, if money can fix it, it is not a problem". Then she told me how her financial problems seemed like nothing when she was holding her bleeding daughter in the hospital. I don't think she realized, but she taught me a great lesson.

Now again 5 years later, I find myself thinking of that day. Experience is the best teacher they say, how true that is. When I was a kid, I always wanted to grow up because, grown ups seemed to have no problems. They were so calm and in control. They never cried or whined for things. They always had everything. Funny how a child's mind works. Now that I am a grown up I would love to be a child again, for the very same reason, that kids don't need much! Guess it is all a part of growing up.

(When I read this entry few years from now, I will probably smile and wonder what I was thinking of).

Blizzard of 2010

2010-02-06T15:41:00.003-05:00

Yes, it is all over the news. Every news channel. The nation's capital is buried in snow. Can't believe we moved from Michigan to catch a break from the snow. This is the second blizzard of this winter and it is only early February. We have gotten about 18 inches so far and might get up to 24 or more. I guess, it doesn't make much difference after 12.

I have already read one book, watched three movies, had three cups of hot beverage and still have a day and half to go.

But despite all the mayhem outdoors, I am thankful. I know, sounds lame, but I am. Thankful for this home, warm feet and food in my belly. Life's simple pleasures.

Reminiscing

2009-12-24T15:48:00.004-05:00

It is almost the end of 2009. This has been a very eventful year for me. Not too long ago I was wondering about life being too stagnant. Not anymore.

I started running and even ran a half marathon. I learnt ballroom dancing. I worked in three different states, three different jobs and traveled too.

Surprising as it may seem, I really felt sad leaving Michigan, our'home' for the last five years. There were a lot of 'firsts' there. The life changing five years of my life so far. Wherever I go in life, Auburn Hills will always have a special place in my life.

Also, this past year, made me feel like an adult, for the first time. I always heard people say, one has to make compromises in life, it was my time to make one I guess. I made the right choice by wanting to be close with my loved ones.

This year brought me some really good friends. It is so nice to be surrounded by people who care for you.

There is less than a week of 2009 left and I feel happy and grateful for the life I have.

My new year resolutions are already chalked out, but more about them later...

( not so ) paranormal activity

2009-11-15T14:26:00.002-05:00

After all the box office raves and Amit's constant nagging, I finally gave in to watch the movie. We rushed to the movies( which is across the street from home!) on a Thursday night. There was just one more couple in the theater. It was the perfect ambiance..

Well, the movie started and I kept waiting for the activity to begin. Finally there was some action and it was good. But by that time, I was suffering from motion sickness. The handy cam was awfully shaky. I looked at Amit and he was worse off. So we opened our eyes only for the night scenes. After an hour into the movie, I lost interest. It was the same old story. One could predict the end. What happened later was pretty stereotypical, but to my surprise Amit liked it.

I can see how it can be a creepy movie but really not as scary as the reviews say it is. I thought good ol' Norman Bates' mother was more of a surprise than the ' demonic force' in our new flick.

All in all, a decent attempt towards changing the trend of horror movies. Definitely better than the bloody gory monster flicks out there.

A good watch.

Runner's high!

2009-11-11T17:46:00.002-05:00

I had always heard of it. Last Sunday I felt it. I ran my first half-marathon. It was an awesome experience running in front of the Capitol. I was holding on a great 9.40 pace till the 10th mile and then my right hip started hurting and slowed me down. I met one of our past patients' en route. She was finishing up a relay. She kept pushing me and brought me close to the finish line and then all of a sudden, when I saw the finish, I sped like I was on drugs and for a minute felt like I had a whole new body and that I was ready for another 13 miles. I was high!

Just after the finish line, it all came back. My aching hip, knees and calves... but that last minute was something else.

A few shout outs to Linda for the pep talk, Chandu and Malli for being great friends!

Run Maddy run...

2009-09-28T21:53:00.002-04:00

Last year I watched the movie ' Bucket list' and made one of my own. One of the first few things on the list was running a marathon. As a kid, I was always into sports. I was a good runner, even in college. But nothing ever came out of it. Last year I did some contemplating. I thought I was getting lazy. I was too complacent. So, I embarked on this journey...

In April this year, I bought a pair of New Balance and started running. The first day I ran 1 mile and was sore for two days. Ever since then, there was no looking back. I ran my first 5K on May17th and finished in 25 minutes. First 10 K on May 31st and finished in an hour. I would call myself a slow runner, averaging at 10 minutes a mile. But as stereotyped as this may sound, running has set me free. It has changed my personality for the better and has done everything for me that I had hoped for and more. I have had my set of setbacks and injuries and will continue to have more, but, the joy of finishing a race is unparalleled. I am headed towards my first half-marathon in less than 6 weeks from now and can hardly wait to run in the nation's capital.

What makes me feel even better is that I am not lazy. Pushing myself during the runs, and going on long after my legs have given up is not easy. Choosing the harder path, is something I never thought I could do, but I do it. Every time I run. It has brought out the best in me.

And now for the lack of better words... three cheers to Running, hip hip hurray!!!

Shall we dance?

2009-08-15T12:30:00.003-04:00

I've had the writer's block for a year now. Thank goodness I kept my day job!
I have had a really exciting year since September'08.
I learned Ballroom dancing and realized I did not have two left feet anymore!( finally understood the meaning of that phrase) In ballroom dancing, ladies start dancing with their right foot and gentlemen with their left. It is THE golden rule. So, if someone is a bad dancer, they would not use their feet right, thus the term!
Ballroom dancing was fun. It was hard for me to let go of the control, as gentlemen are the 'leaders'!
The Rumba is my favorite dance, which is Latin, but still ballroom. Our instructors were so graceful and for some reason, very nice too.
I wish the classes went on forever, if it was not for their cost! Maybe when I am rich and old I will be able to afford them again...
But till then, whenever I hear music, I will ask Amit, ' shall we dance'?

Love you Maggy

2008-09-19T11:57:00.002-04:00

Its' noon on a gorgeous Friday. ( my day off). I am lazing around in the living room watching "Forbes top 20 cash queens". The rest of the family is away for the weekend, its just me and Maggy. She is in vacation mood too. We just had breakfast and are ready for bed again. I have known Maggy for the last 5 months and have no clue what life was before I met her.
In any other situation, I am a very practical person. Ruthless sometimes, but this is one part of my life I have no control on. Yeah, this 20lb, hairy little creature owns me! She is a parti color american cocker spaniel. We got Maggy after my husband's year long persuasion. I love pets too, but wasn't sure if I could care for one. Well, we got her anyway. After the initial hiccups with potty training, it was a smooth sailing ride. She fit right in. With my husband out of town a lot, her and me became best friends and pretty much inseparable. She follows me EVERYWHERE.
She amazes me. How is it possible for a little thing like her, to be capable of so much love and devotion. There is so much to learn from her... whatever happens on day one is completely forgotten on day two. She starts with a clean slate every morning! Always happy and eager to please. She is sad when I leave everyday but never holds a grudge if I am gone for too long. She is elated to go out and exercise and passes out when tired! She is very health conscious too, she stretches every morning and keeps herself as clean as possible. Her antics are so funny I could go on forever. Her latest one is holding her own leash in her mouth while walking!!!

For all those who think of having a pet, take the leap. It is worth it. They are definitely a joy.

Sweet 16

2008-06-20T17:24:00.001-04:00

I just celebrated a birthday. 26th. Had a nice day. I took a little walk down memory lane. Got thinking about my 16th birthday, 10 years ago!Wow! It was a great. My friends gave me a surprise. Was fun. That time of my life almost seems surreal now. Since then, it has probably been the most 'happening' decade of my life. I'm sure most of us would agree.
I read somewhere once that we spend most of our lives waiting for life to happen. So true. I have always been waiting, to finish school, to find a job, then the right job, right guy, so on and so forth. I am not complaining, I have a great life, but just feels so rushed. At 16, even with all the waiting, life was so close, I could almost feel it. There were so many things unexplored, unknown and unfathomable. There was so much I was unaware of, which made it all the more beautiful. If I ever had a chance to go back in time and do it all over again, I would probably not do a single thing differently. Those mistakes, their consequences, none of it. But I would sure want to live it again.
I am still learning everyday, and I'm sure will never know it all. Nevertheless, nothing can beat the charm of sweet 16!

Wonder why?

2008-04-18T23:01:00.001-04:00

Times are hard. Which means money is scarce. The only way to keep it circulating is by spending. But guess what, it is tough to spend. I have made some interesting observations for the last few months. Doctors offices are not as crowded as they used to be. It has affected our Rehab set up also. People don't want to part with their co-pays. The real estate market doing poorly is no secret. I didn't even see as many people on the ski slopes this year. Some people have abandoned their pets, as they are not able to feed them any longer.
But there is one place which never seems deserted. The Mall. Now I don't have any statistics to prove this, as I said earlier, its just an observation. I know someone who works for a big brand name in the clothing line. Their clothes are priced towards the higher end. Their Michigan outlet exceeded its target sales by millions last year. Now that is very surprising for a state which is doing so badly otherwise. P.F.Chang's still needs reservation or there is at least a 45 minute wait. Amit told me that he read an article which stated that only two industries did well during the Great Depression: the restaurant business and cosmetics industry! Makes one wonder, as to how our minds work. Is it the desire to take the mind off all worries, or just the primal need for food? Or just convenience? What about the desire to 'look good'? Is this man-made or an instinct. Why do we do it? Any explanations, similar or opposite observations?

Decisions

2008-03-08T21:28:00.001-05:00

Decisions, decisions,decisions! They drive me nuts. There's just so many of them to make. Right from what clothes to wear to work at 6 a.m. to what to have for dinner at 9.p.m. Not to mention the 'bigger' decisions in 'life'. How I wish I could just type in questions and get answers to them and my decisions will be made. That would be awesome.
But then, I look at the other side ( so typical of me)... What about those who can't make decisions for themselves. Either they are incapable of them or are just not allowed to. Everyday I hear and read about so many innocent lives being sacrificed just because of some eccentric man's whim. I have been reading quite a bit of history lately. Have watched a few movies too. They were set in different eras and in different parts of the world. Like the Second World War, Indian history before the British and during their rule, terrorist attacks all over the world.But everywhere it was always one decision made by one leader which changed thousands of lives not just in that time but for times to come.. I don't know if I am going anywhere with topic. I just wanted to give a thought to all those helpless people who lost their lives and their loved ones just because of decisions made by others.
And even though I hate to make them at times, I am thankful that I have the ability to take my own decisions and hopefully I make the right ones.

CHANGE

2008-02-02T19:56:00.001-05:00

I remember reading graffiti in one of my friends' room once which went something like this: 'if you haven't changed anything in the last six months, check your pulse, you might be dead.' I might have screwed up the words here and there, but wow, what a strong message. I thought about it today and ran the last few years in my mind. I did change a lot. I loved it. I moved to a new country without a doubt in my mind. After that changing was the only way I could survive! Things improved after a while and change wasn't imperative. That is actually when things changed!
Now I don't know why the same 'change' sounds a little iffy! I would have loved this exact same thought few years ago. Now, it seems like so much work. That' scary. And by change I don't mean just change of location. Any type of change. It makes me pause for a bit. Before I would do it in a blink. I heard somewhere that the older you grow the more difficult it is to learn and adapt!!! Its happening to me already? So I did some introspection. What I found out was I had turned lazy! Yeah, there is no other answer. Lazy here applies to the mind. My body works pretty hard, (guess it doesn't know any better) but I haven't exercised my mind very well lately, except for the bare minimum needed to get by. Is it being complacent? I hope not. Or is it just taking a breather! Maybe it is just a passing phase in life, but nevertheless, a thought to ponder.

A treat for the eyes!

2008-01-08T12:38:00.001-05:00

Last weekend, I had the experience of a lifetime! I watched ' The Lion King': The Broadway Musical. I had heard a lot about it and am glad I finally bought those tickets. What I saw was above and beyond words. This show has taken theater to a whole new level. I had enjoyed the Disney creation of 'The Lion King' too, but nothing beats this live performance. The director Julie Taymor has achieved unparalleled elegance in theater with this show.
Right from the moment the curtains were raised till the last scene, I could not take my eyes off the stage. At times I didn't even want to blink lest I missed something. Stunning, amazing and breathtaking are just a few adjectives, which actually don't even match up to the actual show.
As always, Disney has created its magic. Even in a three- dimensional theater, the touch of Disney is still very much there. If it is the masks or the costumes or the cast, it brings the story to life. I have never seen anything like it.
To all those who read this, the show is a must see. It is on a national tour right now, so do check it out if it is in your city, 'coz The Lion King is worth every penny spent!

A Familiar Face

2007-12-07T22:37:00.001-05:00

For three years now, I was so used to going out and not knowing anybody. Every face I saw, was for the first time. Everyone I met, I met for the very first time. Not to mention, nobody ever recognized me either. I was so used to it, that never thought it would make any difference to me.
I have realized the importance of that feeling now, when things have changed. Today I went to a totally new city on the other side of town and met three acquaintances... felt awesome! Just like home. That gives me a sense of belonging...I guess it really is important, as we are a social species. We like to gather!
That reminds me of a short story I read in school. Its written by Anton Chekov. Its called ''The Bet." I guess it is available online now. I found it on Google. It is about the sudden change a bet brings about in the life of a rash young lawyer. Years later now, I am still trying to grasp the entire meaning of the story. A man in isolation for fifteen years. Never sees a human or an animal. Just has books to spend time with. His point, a life sentence is better than capital punishment. Living is better than dying! I can only imagine how heated that argument could get. But that's besides the point.
Right now, my point is that I just enjoy meeting people I know. (No offense to people I haven't met so far!) And, a familiar face does make me happy.

A Real Good Movie

2007-12-02T00:23:00.001-05:00

Browsing through our local library, I came across this movie "North Country". I remember seeing some trailers of it about a year or two ago, so I just picked it up to kill my time over the weekend. Was I in for a surprise or what.
Its inspired by a true story. Its a movie about the first, class-action lawsuit against sexual harassment in the work place, in America. It is about women miners in Minnesota, back in the 80's. It definitely marks a historical event, but at the same time stirs up a very strong emotion. It did, at least for me. It is because of those women that I feel safe going to work today. That is huge.
Each and every character in the movie has done an amazing job. Hats off to the director, Niki Caro. I can't say enough about it. Probably, it might not leave as big an impression on others, but it is a powerful movie nonetheless.
The one question that comes to my mind after some introspection is that if I were one of those women, would I have stood up against injustice? When everyone else was against me? When my livelihood was at stake? It is a very brave choice and I am almost thankful that I have never had to face anything like it. Wow, that is rough terrain, I am sure at some point of our lives, some of us have or will have to make these tough choices. Some, stick it out and some don't, they fight back. I just hope I belong to the latter half.

Vertically challenged.

2007-11-29T23:42:00.002-05:00

This afternoon I was having this conversation with one of my patients, about well, being short. My grandfather was a six footer, but grandma could not make it to 5 feet. So, Dad got her genes and uncle got the tall genes. Well, that makes me 5 feet tall. I usually tell people that I am an inch taller! Jokes apart. I think it affects my life everyday.
Its almost like I have to prove myself to everyone that I meet for the first time. Especially my patients. Its twice the work. At times I have to deal with nasty people, who want to vent all their pent up anger and frustration on me. Sometimes I wonder, what if I were a foot taller and about 50 pounds heavier. Would people talk to me like they do now? Would I command more respect? Would it be easier to impress people. Guess I would never know. But I do notice myself being intimidated by bigger individuals, well not every time. Well sort of.
I even found a bunch of studies on the internet, stating that taller people make more money and breed more respect. The worst is that one study claims that taller people are smarter too. Well, that's not always true, because I've met some really dumb dudes who are really tall. So, looks like it's not just me, who is bothered by this. All my short brothers and sisters throughout the world face this. Oh well, we just have to work harder then I suppose.
At this point of my life I have come to terms with the fact that I will forever belong to this 'underestimated' if you will, lot. But what if we get to spend a day where it was the other way round? Where it was cool to be 'vertically challenged'?